


Let Me Try

by DollieSpock92



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Nightmares, Sharing a Bed, Wing Grooming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-01-22 13:35:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21302933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DollieSpock92/pseuds/DollieSpock92
Summary: Aziraphale is having nightmares and refuses to talk about it.It is up to Crowley to get his angel some much needed rest
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 207





	1. Chapter 1

Aziraphale sat up from his desk with a gasp. His body felt chilled against the air yet his forehead was covered in sweat. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he held back the tears that had been freely flowing. His body involuntarily shuddered, shaking him deep to his core. Aziraphale didn’t like to sleep when there was so much more he could be doing instead. However, now it seemed his body needed it at least twice a week. More now that he fought it at every possible turn. 

He dreamed of Crowley. Ordinarily that would have been wonderful, but not these types of dreams. It always started rather delightful, dinner at the Ritz. They had the most romantic (Aziraphale hated to admit it as currently they were not romantic) dinner. Candles would light their table and Crowley always brought him a rose. They would return to the bookshop and Crowley would walk him up those few concrete steps. He would lean in to give the angel a goodnight kiss, something Aziraphale didn’t know he craved so much until it was happening. As their lips almost touched where Aziraphale could taste his sweet wine, they felt the droplets of rain. 

But not just any rain. Blessed rain by a whole choir of angels. Crowley pulled back letting out a wail of pain as the water ate at his skin tearing through his flesh. Each time, Aziraphale wasn’t able to shield his friend and he watched the demon painfully burn to nothing. Only little black glasses ever remained. Aziraphale woke up with his stomach in knots, eyes red from sobbing.

Aziraphale had finally admitted to himself that he loved Crowley dearly and the thought of losing him forever was enough to make him retch. Of course, he could never tell the demon, they had finally fallen into a routine where they saw each other regularly. Declaring the love that he felt would surely scare the skittish demon off and Aziraphale wasn’t about to chance that. Truth be told, he really didn’t know how to go about changing them anyways. Aziraphale couldn’t even bring himself to change his style of clothes to this century. The lack of knowledge didn’t stop him from daydreaming about it. Suddenly kissing the demon and praying to whatever god would help him that Crowley would kiss him back. He had tried mentioning his feelings but always failed. Aziraphale would bring up maybe a love story he read and then veer off last second and pick a tiff to cover his feelings.

The old style phone sat on the desk tempting him. Logically, he knew Crowley was fine. Deep in his bones, he had the feeling he would know if his demon wasn’t. But this didn’t stop the desire to hear his voice complaining to Aziraphale about the late hour. Crowley would tell him that one of them actually likes to sleep and would go on some type of rant which calmed Aziraphale’s heart down. Stars shone through the window showing just how late it was as he fought against his fingers already dialing. Surely Crowley would forgive one more late night call.

  
  


++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Crowley checked that his phone was on the loudest setting incase Aziraphale called again. This was routine for him now as Aziraphale called at least once a week always late in the evening. After the first call, Crowley had known something wasn’t quite right. He could hear the relief in the angel when he heard his voice almost like the angel had been crying. Crowley swore to himself he would never miss a call.

Something was wrong as of late but Aziraphale was stubborn and refused to even talk about it with him. Crowley saw right through him when the angel claimed he was fine. Aziraphale’s once perfectly tailored suit now hung a bit loosely as the angel lost weight. His eyes always looked tired and although he was obviously happy to see Crowley, he always greeted him with a tight smile. 

It wasn’t hard to put it all together. The night calls, the tiredness. Aziraphale was having nightmares and refusing to talk about them. Crowley had some himself, but not to the extent he believed his angel was having them. Crowley imagined he was part of them as Aziraphale always called. Once Crowley drove over after one when the angel refused to explain the call but upon arriving he was greeted by a flustered angel who spend the next hour yelling at him for being out in the rain. Finding that his presence wasn’t exactly welcomed didn’t always stop him. If Aziraphale seemed more upset than usual, Crowley would drive over and sleep in his Bentley just to be near.

Crowley got out of bed and heard the start of his Bentley, the car sensing his mood. Crowley sighed to himself deciding enough was enough. He was going to find a way to soothe his angel even if Aziraphale wouldn’t admit he needed it. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++   


Crowley took in the angel as he came forward holding a mug of coffee. He saw the red in his eyes, but the smile the angel gave him was genuine.

“You didn’t have to come so early dear.” Aziraphale said.

“Had nothing better to do angel.” Crowley lied accepting the cup of coffee, his neck still stiff from sleeping in his bentley.

They drank in silence and then Aziraphale moved to finish reorganizing the shelves he had been working on. He had received a new collection that needed to be added from an anonymous donor. They were beautiful first editions and Crowley didn’t get them in the most honest ways so he left them on the steps with a note saying take care of them. If the angel was suspicious of him, he let it slide.

Aziraphale came to the couch and shifted some pillows and offered a blanket to drape across the demon. Crowley left the chair for the couch and dutifully laid down. He had learned this game some time when the nightmares first started. Crowley usually would simply doze anywhere while Aziraphale puttered about, but lately Aziraphale seemed to want to keep him in sight. Sometimes he would huff that he couldn’t get things done with Crowley sleeping. Aziraphale would make excuses on why crowley had to follow him to a certain part of the shop like reaching a high book or dusting an unreachable shelf. Crowley didn’t mind and he let the angel believe he was sly. He was happy that his presence helped the angel.

However, now the nightmares was becoming quite a problem. Aziraphale clearly wasn’t sleeping and Crowley knew better than trying to breach the subject with the angel. But he couldn’t simply let this continue. 

Crowley waited till the sun begin to set before trying his plan. He had done his best to make the day as peaceful as possible. He stayed in sight and even helped him rebind some old worn books without any protesting (well without much he was a demon after all). He could see Aziraphale fading fast but stubbornly fighting sleep. His brow furrowed and he wrung his hands endlessly.

“Could I tempt you for a drive angel?” Crowley asked nonchalantly grabbing his keys off the nearby desk. Aziraphale paused for a moment looking for an excuse to stay in. Crowley saw him eyeing his mug of coco and swiftly crossed the room draining it himself.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale chastised as Crowley wiped his lips with his sleeve.

“We’ve been here all day angel, I even scared off a few customers for you.” Crowley tried again.

Aziraphale shoulders slumped but he smiled.

“I appreciate it dear, I suppose a drive does sound nice” he admitted still looking longingly at his cup. Crowley couldn’t help but feel a tinge of jealousy at the look.  “I will make you a fresh cup after the drive.” He promised. 

They headed for the door and into his Bentley. The car started immediately and off they went. 

Crowley leaned off the gas once out of the city quieting the oh dears he could hear from his companion. The Bentley played Queen loudly till Crowley leaned against the steering wheel. Whispering a desperate plea, Queen stopped and a soft classical filled the car. He leaned back against the seat mouthing a silent thank you. He would have to treat his car to a wash for this help. He noticed the angel leaning back against his seat still fighting the sleep that was over taking him cracking his knuckles endlessly. He tried making casual talk to Crowley, using the chatter to keep him awake. Crowley cut him off on each turn gently and began telling Aziraphale stories of his own. He kept his voice low almost at a purr. He felt warmth against his hands as the Bentley turned the heat on. Crowley would definitely need to thank his car. He drove into the night as Aziraphale finally succumb to sleep.

It wasn’t long before the angel was curled up to the side facing Crowley. He whimpered in his sleep and Crowley wasn’t sure what to do. He mircaled a blanket and was trying to lay it over the angel while the Bentley took control. He started back to lean against his own seat when the angel started to shake. He thrashed his head back and forth in a panic. Crowley grabbed his hands putting his forehead against Aziraphale’s.

“I am here angel, its okay. I’m here.”

“Crowley don’t go.” The angel begged gripping his hands tightly.

“I’m not going anywhere angel, I’m here, I’m here.” He assured him. The angel seemed to relax at this and curled back into himself. Crowley took a few deep breaths before returning to his own seat and trying to extract his hands again. As he pulled the second one away Aziraphale immediately began to whimper again clutching at his hand.

“Hey hey hey angel, I’m here.” Crowley said assured him giving back his hand. The angel calmed down holding his hand curled against him and slept peacefully. Crowley drove well into the night unwilling to risk his angel from waking from the much needed sleep. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley tries to get his angel to eat while figuring out the cause of the nightmares.

Crowley watched Aziraphale wake up slowly, the sun on his face. The circles under his eyes weren’t so deep and he seemed quite refreshed. 

“Morning angel, care for a bit of lunch? Afraid its past breakfast.” Crowley said still guiding the car around town with one hand. He glanced at Aziraphale whose eyes widen as he let go of Crowley’s hand.

“Have-have you been driving this whole time dear? You could have woken me. I didn’t want to keep you.” 

“No no, been wanting to drive. I find it relaxing.” Crowley replied turning the car into one of Aziraphale’s favorite places for lunch. He already missed the heat from Aziraphale’s hands as he returned his to the steering wheel. He could tell Aziraphale was hungry and he was happy to see this. As of late, the angel seemed to eat very little which broke his heart.

“Well if you insist. I’m sorry”-he waved his hand at Crowley stumbling over the words. 

“I do, my treat. I didn’t mind, kept my hand warm.” Crowley said getting out of his Bentley quickly incase the angel changed his mind. He ran his hand down the front silently promising a wax job in the future for its help. He got to the restaurant door holding it open for his angel and mircaled them a table ready. 

He watched Aziraphale stare at the menu and he knew that perplexed face. It was the face of I want to eat this entire menu, but I feel like I shouldn’t, look. He could tell that Aziraphale felt bad having to be driven all night, but honestly Crowley would love to spend every night with him whether he had to drive or not. Crowley had to admit there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do if Aziraphale would hold his hand again. 

“I think I will just have a salad.” Aziraphale told the waitress with a tight smile when she came to take their order.

“Oh no.” Crowley interrupted taking the menu from Aziraphale. He rattled off about half of the menu and handed it to the waitress with a smile.

“My dear, this isn’t really necessary.” Aziraphale said.

“It’s nothing angel, I am just hungry too is all and I don’t like salads.” He said trying to sound nonchalant. Aziraphale beamed at him and Crowley ducked his head at the affection radiating off the angel.

“Dear you never eat.”

“That's why I ordered so much. Not sure what I wanted to eat and I trust you not to let it go to waste.”

“You have been up all night and I know how much you like sleep.”

“You can pay me back by letting me sleep on your sofa.”

“Something wrong with your bed?” Aziraphale asked raising an eyebrow.

“No, just the sun lies perfectly on that sofa. Excellent for napping.”

Aziraphale glanced at the windows, Crowley following his gaze. 

They didn’t need a weatherman to tell them there would be no more sun today. The clouds looked angry like they would downpour any minute.

Aziraphale cut him a knowing look but didn’t fight it.

“I have some books that need binding.”

“Good, I’ll keep the customers at bay.” Crowley smirked.

“With your snoring?” Aziraphale smiled.

“I do NOT snore angel. If anything you snore.”

“And how would you even know that?”

“You just slept in my car for nine hours. And you snore.”

Aziraphale huffed at him giving an indignant look.

“Aw come on angel, it was cute.”

Aziraphale tried to keep the smile off his face but Crowley saw his eyes crinkle.

The waiter came bearing a large amount of food to the angel’s delight. He flashed the demon one of his signature grins (Crowley would drive month straights for that smile) and dug in. Aziraphale pushed a plate in front of him to eat.

“You did say you were hungry dear.”

Crowley grimaced at the food preferring to stare at Aziraphale. He picked up a fork and shoved a random bite in his mouth. He wasn’t sure what he was eating, but it wasn’t half bad. Crowley watched Aziraphale finished the meal much to his delight. He decided he would get at least one decent meal into his angel each day to try to prevent more weight loss.

Crowley dozed on the couch as Aziraphale worked in his shop. Neither of them mentioned the nonexistence sun from the window as Crowley stretched out dangling a limb off the arm. He shifted a few times trying to itch his back. Unfortunately, when Aziraphale needed him most, Crowley’s wings decided to molt. 

His body twitched a few times involuntarily and he felt some feathers fall against the couch. The itching lessen for a moment and he tried to doze feeling Aziraphale’s eyes on him. He knew his presence helped the angel, but he didn’t have a particular reason to stay. As the day went on, he waited for Aziraphale to cough telling him it was time to leave and water his plants. 

*******************

Aziraphale had sent Crowley home an hour ago and already missed him. He couldn’t horde all of the demon’s time, however. Part of him was terrified that one day he wouldn’t be able to resist and they would kiss. His dream would come true and he would lose Crowley forever. While he recognized this was irrational, it did nothing to lessen the fear. 

Plus, surely Crowley had other things he wanted to do besides sleep on Aziraphale’s couch. Aziraphale did do his best to make it comfortable. He kept an afghan on the back of it and customers even noticed that the warmest part of the shop was by the couch. Aziraphale’s flat knew to not let his favorite demon get cold. 

He was refolding the afghan when he saw a slender feather sticking out from the cushion. It was a beautiful black ink color and he gingerly plucked it up. He put it against his cheek and sighed. It instantly comforted him, he could feel a small bit of the demon’s energy. Crowley may not be right next to him, but it made him feel like he was near. He tucked it safely in his pocket with an idea. 

************************************************

Crowley noticed his feather by Aziraphale’s book when he walked up to the reading angel. Once entranced by a book, sometimes Aziraphale wouldn’t even notice when he came in. Crowley wasn’t surprised that he molted a few feathers, but generally another angel wouldn’t keep them. It was oddly intimate and suddenly he wished more than anything he had one of Aziraphale’s feathers. He must have stared too long as Aziraphale nervously put his book on top of it hiding it from view when noticing him. Clearly, he didn’t want Crowley to take back the feather. He shifted his gaze.

“Lunch angel?” He asked.

“I’m not really hungry dear.” Aziraphale said apologetically. “But you are more than welcome to stay” 

Crowley sat on the couch observing the baggy clothes on his angel. He could tell Aziraphale hadn’t slept well and it seemed he was even more afraid to do so. Crowley drove him for hours the other night and couldn’t even get a wink out of the angel. The nightmares must be getting worse and he was desperate to help. He sat on the edge contemplating before heading out towards the Bentley on a mission. He turned back when he felt the angel’s eyes on him.

“I’m feeling peckish angel, I’ll be back in a jiff. Want anything?” He asked hopefully.

“No thank you.” Aziraphale replied his own voice sounding disappointed. “Will you be gone long?” He continued looking back at the book. Crowley heard the worry in his voice. He retreated back till he was next to the angel and reached down grabbing his wrist. He gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Nope, be back before you know it.”

He noticed Aziraphale sigh of relief and almost miracled the food, but he knew the taste would slightly change. He headed out the door trying to figure out the nearest market. The Bentley seemed to know his mood and took over driving for him. 

Crowley returned in record time noticing Aziraphale had not moved from his spot. He sat on the side of the couch closest to Aziraphale mircaling himself a plate and a knife.

“Do you remember the French revolution angel? Got me missing Paris for some reason.” Crowley said spreading some cheese on top of a cracker.

“Oh, we had crepes.” Aziraphale said brightening up.

“Should go back there sometime. I never did climb that tower. Told the view is nice.”

“You could get a much better view just by flying dear.” Aziraphale told him. “They do have excellent croissants tho.”

Crowley handed the cracker to the angel. Aziraphale accepted it without hesitation popping it into his mouth.

“I’ve been thinking about going to Venice for a break.” Aziraphale continued.

“What would you do in Venice?” He asked handing him another cracker. The angel accepted readily.

“Oh I don’t know, I always wanted to do one of those boat rides.” He replied eyeing another cracker that Crowley was spreading cheese on.

“You should go.” Crowley said trying to keep the sadness of losing his angel out of voice. 

He actually had no intention of leaving Aziraphale for Paris, he just wanted to distract him.

“Well you’d have to come to. Someone has to row the boat.” Aziraphale replied firmly. Crowley loved the slight shade of pink Aziraphale turned and handed him another cracker. The angel was working his way through quite a few, much to Crowley’s delight.

“Does that mean you will be the one singing?” Crowley teased.

“Ahmen well no. Never did have a voice for the choir.”

“Seems a bit unfair that I have to do both.” Crowley couldn’t help but grin.

“Yes well maybe we should skip the boat ride. Plenty of other things to do.” Aziraphale said fidgeting in his seat looking away.

“No no, I think I could pull off some singing. What shall I serenade you with angel?” Crowley said handing him another cracker.

“I-I suppose something traditional?” He said meekly. Crowley paused for a moment and shrugged.

“When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.” He sang softly. His eyes gleamed as he looked at Aziraphale feeling the truth of the words.

“When the world seems to shine like you had too much wine, that's amore.” he sang louder.

Aziraphale blush deepened as he cast glances over at Crowley smiling and looking down.

“I think I could handle both.” Crowley smiled imagining rowing his angel down the river.

“I suppose I could help row.” Aziraphale replied eating the last of Crowley’s crackers. Crowley leaned back against the couch proud of his success and now planning a trip.

This became a pattern for them. If Crowley couldn’t get him to dine out, he simply made himself a plate and offered the food to Aziraphale who couldn’t imagine being rude enough to turn down the offerings. Crowley was overjoyed that he could at least get his angel to eat, but now he had to tackle the nightmares. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my sleeping dragon, may you rest easy over your horde.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley gets to the base of the problem and gets Aziraphale to sleep.

Crowley couldn’t get the fact that Aziraphale kept his feather. He purposely covered it so Crowley wouldn’t take it. When Aziraphale slept in the car, he clutched at his hand like he was going to disappear. Whatever Aziraphale was dreaming, it was clearly about him. The angel did seem to be more comfortable when Crowley was around. However, he couldn’t just stay the night, Aziraphale would spend all night reading if he did. 

He itched at his back growing frustrated with the molting process. It was slowly driving him insane. The idea hit him like Anathema hitting his beloved Bentley. If Aziraphale kept his feather, maybe more would help him sleep. The molting would make it easy to lose the feathers, he just needed to find a reason to leave all the feathers. He paced his flat trying to find a way. The only thing he could think of would be asking Aziraphale himself to help groom his wings. He would get his molting taken care of and if he did it at the bookshop, he could leave tons of feathers for him. The angel could have the feathers without asking since Crowley knew he never would. 

Maybe if Crowley couldn’t spend the night, at least the feathers would help. The only issue with his plan was he wasn’t sure Aziraphale would help him preen his wings. It was entirely intimate and they never did that for each other. Not that Crowley didn’t want to. Every time he saw Aziraphale’s disheveled wings he tucked his hands as deep in this pockets (which wasn’t far due to tight pants) as he could to prevent him from straightening the mess. With an idea in mind, he would just have to make this work. Crowley turned to his one trick that sometimes worked on his angel. Being overly dramatic.

He sauntered into the bookshop with an irritated look on his face. He paced restlessly from shelf to shelf till he finally caught Aziraphale’s attention. 

“Crowley dear, something bothering you?” The angel asked clearly tired. He had circles under his eyes that broke Crowley’s heart but he had to play this just right. He waved the question off with a grunt and continued pacing and scratching at his back. A few more minutes and Aziraphale put down his book.

“Really dear, do you really have to do this here?” Aziraphale questioned slightly annoyed. The tiredness evident in his voice. He rubbed at his eyes. 

“It itches angel and it's driving me crazy.” He said swinging himself back around. He rounded and dramatically threw himself on the couch and made an agonizing noise as if he was being tortured. 

“Crowley it can’t be that bad.” Aziraphale said leaving his chair and coming over. Crowley let out an exaggerated groan covering his eyes with his arm.

“I can’t get the feathers all out.” He moped kicking his leg off the couch. He moved his arm slightly to peek at his angel. Aziraphale was looking at him thoughtfully before turning away. Crowley sighed in disappointment until he heard a small thunk. He moved his arm fully to unblock his vision. Crowley saw a small stool a little bit away from the couch. Aziraphale looked at him expectantly.

“If it gets you off my couch dear, I will help you with the preening.” Aziraphale said motioning to the chair. His voice was firm and Crowley knew there was no turning back now. Crowley was glad his glasses were on to hide his eyes. He tried to keep his cool as he slowly got up and sat himself on the stool.

“Well if you insist.” He told Aziraphale.

“I insist. Now bring out your wings dear boy.”

Crowley did as he was told. He gave them a good stretch before settling down enjoying the movement. He shivered when he felt Aziraphale’s fingers against his feathers, a light touch. It was hard not to lean into the touch and he tried to hold still reminding himself to breathe. He felt some feathers being plucked and saw them fall to the floor relieving some of the itch. He let out a sigh as the angel continued his work. He gripped the stool, his knuckles turning white as the feathers began to be put in their proper place. The pleasant sensation was quickly becoming overwhelming. 

“Relax dear.” Aziraphale told him pausing in his work.Crowley took a breath and tried to calm himself down. Only his angel had such an effect on him.

“Am I hurting you?” Aziraphale questioned as he gently straighten a feather.

“Ngk, no.” Crowley croaked out. This seemed to reassure Aziraphale as he began his work more thoroughly. He ordered feathers and plucked many allowing them to fall. It wasn’t long till there was a collection of sleek black feathers on the ground and Crowley desperately hoped Aziraphale would keep them. It took a good hour before his wings were finished and gleaming from the work. He himself felt like a mound of pudding and he wasn’t sure he was actually capable of walking. He wanted to just curl up on Aziraphale’s couch and sleep for a century. But he knew he had to leave so Aziraphale could pick up his feathers. 

With all the strength he could muster, he stood up from the stool.

“Thanks angel, my wings feel much better. Think I oughta go water my plants now.” He said shakily heading for the door. He demanded his legs to carry him.

“I could miracle the feathers away if you want?” He asked looking back. He saw the angel’s eyes widen in a bit of a panic and Crowley wanted to jump with victory, but didn’t believe his legs would catch him.

“I have it dear, you go home and rest.” Aziraphale told him reassuringly.

“Whatever you say angel.” Crowley said leaving. His Bentley met him at the steps and once again he was grateful for the car knowing his needs. 

+++++++++++++++

Aziraphale waited for Crowley to leave before releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding. He looked down at the mess of feathers on the ground and felt their calming effect. He picked them up and brought them to his bedroom. He felt strange keeping all these feathers but he couldn’t deny the comfort they brought him. He scattered them across his bed with the others and stuck a bunch in his pillow case. For the first time in two weeks he laid down that night and felt the cool feathers against his skin. He had been afraid to lay down but with fresh feathers it was like his serpent was there. He knew nesting was intimate and Crowley would probably be unhappy with him doing this. While they were friends, he knew Crowley didn’t think about him that way. The demon kept his distance and Aziraphale knew he had other friends. Their fight still rang in his ears even though it was long ago. Even if the demon did return his feelings, Aziraphale still couldn’t shake his fears that the nightmares showed the future. He took a deep breath in and hoped the dreams would stay away. 

+++++++++++++++

Crowley stayed up his phone next to him just in cased Aziraphale called. After a few hours he himself drifted off to his own slumber. It seemed like the feathers had worked well as Aziraphale didn’t call him for three weeks. Crowley visited at least three times a week and could tell the angel had at least been sleeping somewhat. It wasn’t as much as the angel needed, but it was some. However, the fourth week was a very different tune. 

Aziraphale once again had deep circles under his eyes and seemed to snap when Crowley breathed wrong. He felt fortunate that breathing wasn’t required. 

“I am just very busy today.” He told Crowley doing his best at an apology. Crowley looked around the empty bookshop before letting his glasses slide down his nose a bit so he could look the angel in his eyes.

“There is literally no one here angel.”

“I know, I still need to dust.” Aziraphale said pursing his lips.

“You don’t dust, you like the dust.” Crowley retorted. He snapped his fingers and the once dusty bookshop was sparkling clean. It took more effort than he thought it would, the bookshop clearly not wanting to upset its master. Aziraphale looked at him exasperated pinching the bridge of his nose. 

“Angel can we just talk? You are losing weight and you aren’t sleeping.” Crowley pleaded. He needed to fix this and wasn’t going to back down.

“I am completely fine.” Aziraphale said waving his hand firmly.

“But you aren’t fine”

“Why would you care anyways?”

“Why would I care? WE are a team Aziraphale.” Crowley said bewildered.

“I can take care of myself. I am the guardian of the Eastern gate.”

“I’ve been taking care of you for centuries!”

“I never asked you to!”

“You never needed to.” Crowley said softly. Aziraphale’s face fell at this before sitting down in his armchair with a defeated look. Crowley came over and sank down to his knees. He put his arms on the armchair careful not to touch.

“You are having nightmares angel, I know I get them too. Let me help.” He begged meeting the angel’s eyes. Aziraphale let out a sigh briefly looking away before meeting his eyes again.

“You die every night.”

“Your nightmare is me dying?”

“We have dinner at the Ritz and you bring me a rose. There are candles everywhere.” he continued. Crowley could see his eyes start to well.

“It happens when when you walk me up the steps.” He said waving to the entrance.

“You go to kiss me goodnight and it starts to rain. But it's holy rain. I try to protect you but I can’t.” Aziraphale croaks out before putting his fist against his mouth.

“Angel, I am right here, perfectly fine.” He said rubbing a hand soothingly up his arm.

“I know you are dear, you just don’t understand.”

“I understand angel, I dream of you in the fire.” Crowley admitted. Aziraphale pushed him away getting up.

“You don’t know what it's like to want something so bad and yet be so afraid.” He yelled at Crowley, his body shaking. The demon rose very calm.

“Everytime I see you, I just want more, but what will happen then? You scream so loud dear, I can’t stop hearing your screams and there was nothing I could do.” Aziraphale yelled retreating towards the door. Crowley wasn’t sure where Aziraphale was attending to flee to but he couldn’t allow him to run this time.

“Let me try angel” Crowley said taking a step towards the frightened angel.

“What do you mean?

Crowley came closer until their breaths mingled pressing Aziraphale against the door.

“Let me try” He said hoping the angel would trust him. Crowley fiddled with the door handle behind Aziraphale and managed to open it. He turned them where he was outside snapping his fingers. A sudden downpour fell on him soaking his clothes and hair.

“I will gladly take you to the Ritz angel and I’ll give you a rose everyday if that's what you want.” He said bringing aziraphale knuckles to his lips. He pressed a kiss against them.

“But you have to let me in angel, you have to let me help you.” He pleaded kissing the other. He searched Aziraphale’s eyes for an answer. When he didn’t get one he started to let go of the angel’s hands in defeat, but Aziraphale clutched after him grabbing his wrists so tight Crowley knew bruises would form. Aziraphale looked to the sky fear covering his face. Crowley pressed himself close and tucked his head against the angel’s shoulder.

“It’s alright angel, I’m here.” He said over and over like a prayer. He could feel Aziraphale’s heart hammering in his chest and Crowley was a bit worried that he had pushed it too far.

“Breathe angel, breathe for me.” He begged and he felt Aziraphale take a deep breath.

“Good, good, angel, do it again for me.” Crowley said and was rewarded with another breath. The demon wasn’t sure how long they stood there but he was starting to shiver from the cold. He felt Aziraphale pulling away.

“I don’t need roses everyday.” Aziraphale said looking into his eyes. Crowley’s heart sank at this rejection. He looked down glad for the rain in case his own eyes betrayed him.

“I’d much prefer a kiss every night.” Aziraphale said still a tremble in his voice. Crowley looked up refilled with hope unable to believe his ears. 

“Every night angel.” He promised. He wanted for Aziraphale to make the move, show he was ready.

Aziraphale put his hands against the demon’s cheeks and pulled him into a kiss. It was wet and messy and exhilarating. Crowley closed his eyes, his vision swimming as he crowded the angel against the door deepening the kiss. He changed his angle and gently nibbled at the other’s lips releasing a sigh. He slowed down when he felt the angel’s heart pounding against his chest too fast again. Crowley waited six thousand years for this, he would gladly take it slow for his angel. He pulled back slowly with a smile. Crowley looked up and let the rain fall against his face. He returned his gaze when he felt Aziraphale's eyes on him a smile at his lips. Crowley adored the blush rising on his cheeks.

“Every night angel.” he repeated pushing the angel back through the door out of the rain. The blond easily complied and Crowley snapped his fingers drying them.

“Do you think you could sleep now angel?” Crowley asked looking at the bags under his eyes.

“Maybe.” Aziraphale replied ducking this head. “Would you be so kind as to stay?”

“I would, gladly.” Crowley said looking over at the sofa. He would sleep there forever if only Aziraphale would let him stay.

“I mean-stay” Aziraphale looked lost for words as he looked up at the stairs to his flat.

“Oh, of course angel. I will keep you company.” Crowley said grabbing his hand and guiding him up the steps. His heart was still singing from the kiss that he would gladly sit on the chair by the bed if that's what his angel wanted. 

They got upstairs and Crowley miracled them into pajamas. The tired look of his angel was enough to make him sleepy himself. He pulled back the covers and was surprised to see all of his feathers against the sheets. He turned to see Aziraphale by the door looking like he might bolt any second.

“I was hoping you would keep them.” He said his voice not as steady as he wished it to be. While he shed quite a bit from his molt, this was a lot more feathers than that.

“I-eh been collecting them for quite some time. You lose a few without noticing sometimes.” Aziraphale said looking anywhere but at Crowley. “Thought the fresh ones would help me sleep.”

“Think it’s only fair if I have some of yours then.”

“What would you need mine for?” Aziraphale questioned coming closer.

“Its whats missing.” Crowley said gesturing to the bed. Aziraphale gave him a long look before manifesting his wings into existence. The beauty never failed to amaze Crowley. He also bit his lip looking at their disheveled appearance. A good wing grooming should be enough to get his tired angel to sleep.

“Sit angel, I believe I owe you a preening session.” Crowley said gesturing to the bed.

“That’s not necessary dear.” Aziraphale told him but came to sit on the bed. Crowley reached up and brushed his hand through the primary feathers. He felt Aziraphale shiver beneath the touch.

“Better yet, lay on your stomach.” Crowley said with a gentle push. Aziraphale complied stretching out his wings. Crowley carefully climbed up on him straddling his waist. He moved slowly giving Aziraphale a chance to change his mind. Instead the angel only sighed when Crowley finally rested his weight on him.

Crowley tentatively reached to the left wing pulling out a feather that was misaligned. He ran his fingers through the wing straightening as he went. Some feathers fell against the bed, joining the nest Aziraphale had been making. He pinched at the gland causing the oil to flow at the base of the wing so he could shine each feather. Crowley tried to ignore the sounds the angel was making beneath him, but they were enough to cause a priest to sin.

Aziraphale was clearly enjoying the treatment and Crowley’s mind was still on the goodnight kiss. Since they technically didn’t go to bed right away, he was rather hoping for another one. Once the wings glistened he sadly began to roll off his angel to sit on the nearby rocking chair. He was about halfway off when one of the wings got behind him and knocked him forward onto the bed. He landed with an ooofmp and Aziraphale put an arm around him pulling him close till their breaths once again mingled.

“I think you were right, needed more feathers.” Aziraphale murmured his lips almost touching Crowley’s. He tried not to rush that inch forward, slowing his pace. Aziraphale’s breath was making him dizzier than any wine ever could.

“Just wanted you to get some sleep.” Crowley said steadying himself.

“I think you should try again.” Aziraphale told him, Crowley could almost feel his smile against his mouth.

“Try what?” He asked confused. Before his brain could register what the angel was meaning he felt lips against his drowning out any thought. They traded soft kisses back and forth until Aziraphale struggled to keep his eyes open. Crowley saw the fight and kissed each eyelid forcing them close.

“Sleep angel.” He said as he felt Aziraphale tighten his arm around him. “I’ll be here, I promise.” Aziraphale slept through the night and most of the day. Crowley would have preferred to stay in bed forever with him, but Aziraphale pointed out that he was promised goodnight kisses now. They very well couldn’t have a goodnight kiss if they never got up. Crowley was about to protest, but decided against it. He wanted goodnight kisses as well and he did promise everyday. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really enjoyed writing this, I hope you enjoy it

**Author's Note:**

> For my sleeping dragon


End file.
